But, sigh, in my head, I know I'm kind of a doormat. It's that codependent thing again. It's more important that other people be happy than that I am happy. (I know, that's flawed. Happiness is not a pie that you have to divide up.) But then I get all resentful about it and blow up at people for using me, when I was the one who said, "Here, use me," in the first place.
So, for me, I think assertiveness needs to be called something else, maybe. We'll call it ass-ertiveness because I am like 11 and this amuses me, and we'll break it down into three "cheeks," if you will. The important parts of assertiveness, I gather, are:
- honesty-- Recognize what I want and that it is ok to want what I want, and be honest (at least with myself) about what I want, for real.
- clarity-- Be clear about what I want... like, with words.
- consistency-- Be honest and clear whenever the same situation comes up again. If it's just random, it's no good.
Ok, I'm off to go be ass-ertive. No butts about it. (Couldn't help it.)
1 comment:
This post really made me laugh, and then nearly cry. (The "cheeks" was my favorite part. But Stormy's doormat covered head was good too, the wording Stomy, not the discomfort of you having it on your head.) It always makes me sad when I hear of someone who doesn't see how very valuable she is, and who concerns herself with what others think, instead of being true to her own heart and soul.
Strength and self-love, those will help you. And, what all three other Betties said.
Feel confident in that you are getting to know yourself, be strong in that knowledge.
Julie
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