One of the biggest life lessons I ever learned from my mom was that you don't have to like everyone, but you do have to try to love them. I always thought this was a wonderful goal, and spoke to the ability to recognize the goodness in everyone, and treat people (even if you don't particularly like them) with kindness and respect. For as long as I can remember, I have been striving to love everyone. (I'm not always successful, but I do try.)
No one ever told me the other part, though: You also have to be loved. If you spend your whole life loving the unlovable without anything in return, you end up empty, barren of the love you're supposed to be giving in the first place. Love is not a bottomless well from your soul. It needs to be refilled with love from other people, and love for yourself. Hm, that makes sense. But I'd honestly never thought of that before. Not once.
In my enthusiasm to love everyone, I assumed a little "God Complex," we'll call it. (That's what Dr. Sara called it, and I admit to flinching at the term, but it's accurate.) I am not capable of unconditional love. That's just the way it is, because I am human. I want to be capable, sure. But I am not God, I am not a bottomless well of love, and I need love in return, or I at least need love from some source if I'm not getting it from the unlovable person I'm doing my darndest to love.
In a way, it's a little sad... I sort of want to be a bottomless well of love, ya know?
On the other hand, I'm glad to finally understand this. It lets me off the hook a little. If I don't love someone, it's not because I am a failure as a human being. It's because I am a human being.
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