I feel like I'm making such great progress. I'm changing, I'm growing, I'm learning-- but it's hard for those around me. I understand. The pattern before was one that everyone recognized and dealt with. Now it's a new pattern, and even though it's a healthy one, it's new, and that's the problem.
So here it is: I'm not going to put up with shit anymore. It's just that simple. And it means that some people are going to have to stop demanding that I put up with their shit, lest they get really disappointed by my numerous refusals.
And it means that I have to let go of some guilt. I have to be confident in the fact that I am not a bad person for refusing, that the reversals and manipulations really are reversals and manipulations, and not the truth. And it may mean that I have to admit that I can't make everyone happy, and that some people aren't going to be a part of my life anymore because I can't make them happy and still be happy myself.
That sucks. But, in the end, maybe it sucks less than the alternative.
6 comments:
Change is difficult - for everyone concerned. But yay for you! I'd ask for a copy of your *pattern*, but it's different for everyone. Until I find mine, I'll just revel in your accomplishment.
*high fives*
Change is difficult - for everyone concerned. But yay for you! I'd ask for a copy of your *pattern*, but it's different for everyone. Until I find mine, I'll just revel in your accomplishment.
*high fives*
Good girl! Take care of yourself first.
We can't be responsible for other people's feelings. We must do our best with compassion and attention--and respect others enough to let them stand on their own.
(Wow, sorry if that's particularly loopy. I'm all drugged up with antihistamines.)
Sounds like you are standing strong and being true to your self. THAT is huge! And yes, also difficult. Keep going, you are doing great!
Thank you, my darlings! MWAH! (That was a big sloppy kiss for all of you.) It means so much to know that I have Internet peoples around who understand and concur. ;)
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